Method of Loci (John/Sherlock)

[baudown]

Title: Method of Loci
Author: baudown
Pairing: John/Sherlock
Disclaimer: I neither own nor profit from them.
Note:  My first stab at Sherlock.  A 221b ficlet (221 words, the last word starting with the letter B).  Written quickly, and with no time to marinate, as I'm leaving for a long vacation!

At AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/users/baudown/works?fandom_id=133185

Or here:

Method of Loci

People -- those who know of it -- think the mind palace is a method.  They’re right, but only in part.  It's a place, too; a place where Sherlock lives.  The place he really lives.  As himself.  By himself.

Mummy lived there with him, once; Mycroft, too.  But Mycroft is merely a visitor, now.  Uninvited, unwelcome, barging in rudely, leaving again.  Mummy, of course, has long since departed.  He keeps the place locked, shut tight against intruders, doors barred, shades drawn.

Sherlock lives here -- happily, he'd thought, whatever that meant.  Lives with facts and figures, murder and music.  Taking pleasure in these companions, the beauty of them, their symmetry.  He hadn't believed himself lonely.

It happens gradually; or perhaps, it takes an instant.  A murmur in his ear, a hand clasping his arm, the kettle’s on, a cup of tea, one more.  He looks up, startled, and sees: someone’s opened the windows, flung wide the doors, filled the rooms with air, with light.  It's John, and he's taken up residence.  He travels the halls, exploring, calling out to Sherlock, laughter in his voice.

John’s laugh sounds exultant, relieved.  Like a lost man turning a corner, to find himself suddenly home.  Sherlock's been expecting him, it seems.  Waiting, all this while.  John's come home at last, Sherlock thinks.  He is here, where he belongs.

Comments

[raynejelly.livejournal.com]

Who are we kidding? I love a good tome.

Fanfic is interesting in that it leads us to new places regardless of how obsessed we are with one thing. Strangely, anime fic [I was young!] led me to Buffy (and the Smashing Pumpkins, and Stone Temple Pilot, and all sorts of other things I can’t even remember) and Buffy, has in turn, led me places I never thought I’d go. Like Batman comics, and SG-1….

I was actually reading Spander fic before I ever saw the characters – weird? Maybe. But back then I was working on this Harry Potter story that was irritatingly consuming [in the way that RaPH has been irritatingly consuming, but perhaps less well plotted out] and the break was really really nice. And then I wrote my first ever Buffy vignette and… well. I moved on. Totally and completely (though that may have had something to do with the ruinous quality of the 7th book).

Which is not to say that I’m concerned that I’ll lose my love of Buffy if I get invested in something else [I offer the existence of Dean Winchester as proof of this], but I’m afraid of writing it. Or even reading too much of it in case that opens the door to temptation [which it HAS, dammit, just this morning in the shower I was thinking “the nice thing about Sherlock is that…”]. I’m afraid of letting it into my head that way because I have an absurdly obsessive personality, I get caught up in things and then I just cannot let them go until I’ve reached some ill-defined apex of understanding/perfection, and before that happens I would at least like to finish RaPH [irritatingly consuming]. So I’ve seen, and I LOVE, Sherlock, I think it’s brilliant and I am already pretty emotionally invested in the characters [I think Martin Freeman does a lot that we’re not giving him credit for] but… boy oh boy am I afraid of it too.

Regarding whether or not hypercriticism of your own writing ever goes away… Nope. I think some days we have really really good days where the words feel right and they all fit together and they actually mean something, and what’s in our heads regarding a character comes out and recalls whatever emotion inspired it… but I think for the most part, writing is a slog. I think it’s actually a good sign. I think that if everything you wrote came out to your satisfaction, you would be a crappy writer. And you’re not. The trick, I’m told, is revision. Get it out there, hate it, and hack it apart with the magical red pen. That way, at least, the idea never really goes away. I’ve got a folder on my desktop stuffed with things that will never be and every once in a while I go back and read through some of it. Some of it is very bad, some of it makes me laugh, and some of it turns into other things. But mostly as I read it, I’m reminded of why I love the characters and why I enjoy writing [when I enjoy it], so regardless, it’s good space.

And hey – maybe you do need a break. I think the trick is to stop before we hate our characters for not being able to get them right…

Anyway - thanks for letting me ramble. I am fundamentally incapable of responding to something like that with "Gosh, that's okay. You're great." But you are. :-)

[baudown.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for replying to this in such a thoughtful and encouraging way. It's very much appreciated.

Agreed about Martin Freeman, by the way. He invests Watson with humor but also with a real sense of quiet dignity. Love it.

And, yes, the obsessive brain. Mine too, my whole life. With me, it can be dangerously distracting and preoccupying, and when the tumble into it happens, there's no stopping it. So I get your reluctance to feed that particular monster.

As for the writing -- I started doing this late in life (I'm kind of old), and it's given me an enormous amount of pleasure, and I guess I worry about losing that. That I won't feel inspired again, which would be a giant downer. But I'm going to heed your advice and also try not to over think things (fat chance).

Anyway, as always, I really enjoy hearing your thoughts and chatting about this kind of stuff, so thanks again.