No surprise, I'm sure, to hear me say that I really liked this. I'll echo the other people above and say that I thought it was great for a piece that was quickly thrown together, even though there's room for a little polishing (but when isn't there?).
My favorite thing about this piece was the circular nature to it, which stood out to me because it was so short. Beginning with Xander talking about how relationships are compromise and showing how he's compromising, continuing on with him on his knees in front of Spike telling him (without literally telling him) how much Xander loves him. Ending with Xander thinking he's making Spike compromise too much, and that Spike will eventually leave because of it; then Spike on his knees in front of Xander telling him (without literally telling him) how much Spike loves him. That construction is just so stirring; it reaches me in a deep way.
Some choice lines: Xander's learned to tell the difference./A faint, pink hue, like the opalescent inside of a shell./ "I love you," he tells Xander. Tells him frequently, as if it's easy.
This: If he turns around before I count to fifty, Xander thinks, then he won't leave. was so poignant. How many times have I done that? How ridiculous is it to get sad when it doesn't work out, despite the fact that you made all the rules yourself? I'm glad Spike turned around in time.
Lastly, their wordless communication in the final scene, when Spike takes the time to muddle through what Xander is really trying to say. The reading between the lines. So realistic, so glad to see it.
Glad to see this from you at all; I hope the RL issues are better and things work out in the best possible way. Looking forward to seeing the story you originally intended for this, too, but I know how hectic it gets around this time, nevermind unexpected hospital trips. Best wishes for a speedy recovery!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2012-12-10 08:21 pm (UTC)My favorite thing about this piece was the circular nature to it, which stood out to me because it was so short. Beginning with Xander talking about how relationships are compromise and showing how he's compromising, continuing on with him on his knees in front of Spike telling him (without literally telling him) how much Xander loves him. Ending with Xander thinking he's making Spike compromise too much, and that Spike will eventually leave because of it; then Spike on his knees in front of Xander telling him (without literally telling him) how much Spike loves him. That construction is just so stirring; it reaches me in a deep way.
Some choice lines: Xander's learned to tell the difference./A faint, pink hue, like the opalescent inside of a shell./ "I love you," he tells Xander. Tells him frequently, as if it's easy.
This: If he turns around before I count to fifty, Xander thinks, then he won't leave. was so poignant. How many times have I done that? How ridiculous is it to get sad when it doesn't work out, despite the fact that you made all the rules yourself? I'm glad Spike turned around in time.
Lastly, their wordless communication in the final scene, when Spike takes the time to muddle through what Xander is really trying to say. The reading between the lines. So realistic, so glad to see it.
Glad to see this from you at all; I hope the RL issues are better and things work out in the best possible way. Looking forward to seeing the story you originally intended for this, too, but I know how hectic it gets around this time, nevermind unexpected hospital trips. Best wishes for a speedy recovery!