RE: Kiss-and-make-up endings. This may seem semantic, but I would call your ending a make-up-and-then-kiss ending rather than a kiss-and-make-up one, and the order of those actions really makes all the difference. In a K&MA it’s the kiss/affection that generally triggers the forgiveness, and is what makes me feel cheated re: apology. In your ending the kiss comes after they already come to an understanding, and so the apology/forgiveness doesn’t feel insincere or forced. That probably doesn’t make much sense but it’s how I feel so whatever.
RE: Xander’s realization. Okay, I’m with you on where Xander’s “thinking that Willow is discussing his contentious relationship with Spike because, in his mind, that's what their relationship still is to everyone else.” I guess maybe I’d’ve liked to see a line strongly dissociating Anya from the bulk of his grief. Or maybe a rearrangement of the lines you already have? Something to draw the attention directly to Spike and away from Anya exactly at the moment of his epiphany, then the tumble of thoughts that come as all the connections are made. I’ve been looking specifically at the part that goes from But he's shocked anyway… all the way to the moment he'd told Spike no.
Anyway, that’s just one woman’s opinion. Like I said before, the message came through, and obviously your other readers didn’t see any problems, but I really wanted to feel the emotional punch in the gut the same way Xander did, and I didn’t. The absence was what was noticeable.
RE Spike’s resignation: “what I wanted was for … Spike to reach the point where he's once again willing to accept less than he should; but then have Xander seeing this quality be the thing that pushes him into the full realization of how much he loves Spike.” Yes. I really like this also because Xander gets to hear from Spike that he’s “not worth it,” and Xander must resign himself to the fact that he’s messed this up beyond repair and he can never have that back. Only once that happens does Spike’s resignation kick in and in that way Xander can really understand the depth of Spike’s feeling. That’s what sold it for me.
I’m gonna make my way over to Remembered, If Outlived as soon as I get a chance, and you’ll probably see a comment from me there (though I can’t promise it’ll be soon). Thanks for the great read and I’m looking forward to more of your work!
no subject
RE: Xander’s realization. Okay, I’m with you on where Xander’s “thinking that Willow is discussing his contentious relationship with Spike because, in his mind, that's what their relationship still is to everyone else.” I guess maybe I’d’ve liked to see a line strongly dissociating Anya from the bulk of his grief. Or maybe a rearrangement of the lines you already have? Something to draw the attention directly to Spike and away from Anya exactly at the moment of his epiphany, then the tumble of thoughts that come as all the connections are made. I’ve been looking specifically at the part that goes from But he's shocked anyway… all the way to the moment he'd told Spike no.
Anyway, that’s just one woman’s opinion. Like I said before, the message came through, and obviously your other readers didn’t see any problems, but I really wanted to feel the emotional punch in the gut the same way Xander did, and I didn’t. The absence was what was noticeable.
RE Spike’s resignation: “what I wanted was for … Spike to reach the point where he's once again willing to accept less than he should; but then have Xander seeing this quality be the thing that pushes him into the full realization of how much he loves Spike.” Yes. I really like this also because Xander gets to hear from Spike that he’s “not worth it,” and Xander must resign himself to the fact that he’s messed this up beyond repair and he can never have that back. Only once that happens does Spike’s resignation kick in and in that way Xander can really understand the depth of Spike’s feeling. That’s what sold it for me.
I’m gonna make my way over to Remembered, If Outlived as soon as I get a chance, and you’ll probably see a comment from me there (though I can’t promise it’ll be soon). Thanks for the great read and I’m looking forward to more of your work!