First of all, no apologies necessary. Second, OF COURSE your absence was missed, and I'm so excited to hear from you, because I'd pretty much resigned myself to the idea that you were disappointed with the last chapter, and it's a huge relief to hear otherwise. What got me nervous was: I'd always thought of this, structure-wise, as a backward love story -- a backward fairy tale, really, with a backward fairy tale kiss at the end; and it's only after your comment about kiss-and-make-up endings that it hit me: yeah, a kiss-and-make-up ending is exactly what I wrote, and maybe it's not going to work. So I'm happy that wasn't the case.
On the issue of Xander's moment of realization: this is the first thing I've written that was written out of order, and the ending was one of the first things I wrote. So I can see where you're coming from, and maybe I didn't adapt the ending enough to comport with the in-between parts that I wrote subsequently. My thought was that Xander, in an unconscious way, is thinking that Willow is discussing his contentious relationship with Spike because, in his mind, that's what their relationship still is to everyone else. That people get a fixed idea about what a particular relationship is, and so no one else has seen how Spike and Xander have changed as people, and toward each other. (Kind of the same way that in season 6, the Scubies are largely oblivious, or in denial, about how Buffy is a different person, and about how Spike has evolved, and therefore are blind to the clues that point to the truth that they're involved). I didn't think what Willow was saying would jar him out of thinking about Spike, because in his mind it would be natural for Willow to be describing her view of that relationship as combative. But the intent doesn't matter so much if it didn't come off to you as a reader. And no, you're not raining on my parade. On the contrary, I really appreciate this kind of feedback. I'm just sorry that it was a bit of a let down for you.
Regarding Xander's semi-numbed out, mechanical state of mind after the loss of both Anya and Spike: I love stories that deal with the aftermath of loss, and the first story I ever wrote is specifically about this. If you care to read it, it's Remembered, If Outlived.
I'm so glad the other stuff worked for you, and that the reconciliation didn't feel rushed or forced. And yeah, Xander needed to feel the pain. But now that I feel free to discuss further the issue of Spike resigning himself to love: what I wanted was for that to happen -- for Spike to reach the point where he's once again willing to accept less than he should; but then have Xander seeing this quality be the thing that pushes him into the full realization of how much he loves Spike. I was itching to bring this up in our previous discussion, but obviously couldn't.
The Hugo quote: I could not for the life of me come up with a title I liked for this. It was very frustrating. And one day, during the time I was working up my nerve to post, I glanced over at something the person next to me on the subway was reading, and that quote was highlighted in pink highlighter. My heart actually started racing, it felt so perfect to me.
Once again, I can't thank you enough for all the thoughtful and interesting and constructive feedback you've given me, and also for the Buffy talk in general. It's really been wonderful, and deeply appreciated.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2012-11-09 06:06 pm (UTC)On the issue of Xander's moment of realization: this is the first thing I've written that was written out of order, and the ending was one of the first things I wrote. So I can see where you're coming from, and maybe I didn't adapt the ending enough to comport with the in-between parts that I wrote subsequently. My thought was that Xander, in an unconscious way, is thinking that Willow is discussing his contentious relationship with Spike because, in his mind, that's what their relationship still is to everyone else. That people get a fixed idea about what a particular relationship is, and so no one else has seen how Spike and Xander have changed as people, and toward each other. (Kind of the same way that in season 6, the Scubies are largely oblivious, or in denial, about how Buffy is a different person, and about how Spike has evolved, and therefore are blind to the clues that point to the truth that they're involved). I didn't think what Willow was saying would jar him out of thinking about Spike, because in his mind it would be natural for Willow to be describing her view of that relationship as combative. But the intent doesn't matter so much if it didn't come off to you as a reader. And no, you're not raining on my parade. On the contrary, I really appreciate this kind of feedback. I'm just sorry that it was a bit of a let down for you.
Regarding Xander's semi-numbed out, mechanical state of mind after the loss of both Anya and Spike: I love stories that deal with the aftermath of loss, and the first story I ever wrote is specifically about this. If you care to read it, it's Remembered, If Outlived.
I'm so glad the other stuff worked for you, and that the reconciliation didn't feel rushed or forced. And yeah, Xander needed to feel the pain. But now that I feel free to discuss further the issue of Spike resigning himself to love: what I wanted was for that to happen -- for Spike to reach the point where he's once again willing to accept less than he should; but then have Xander seeing this quality be the thing that pushes him into the full realization of how much he loves Spike. I was itching to bring this up in our previous discussion, but obviously couldn't.
The Hugo quote: I could not for the life of me come up with a title I liked for this. It was very frustrating. And one day, during the time I was working up my nerve to post, I glanced over at something the person next to me on the subway was reading, and that quote was highlighted in pink highlighter. My heart actually started racing, it felt so perfect to me.
Once again, I can't thank you enough for all the thoughtful and interesting and constructive feedback you've given me, and also for the Buffy talk in general. It's really been wonderful, and deeply appreciated.