I won't lie, I was pretty pleased to see Spike stand up for himself and make Xander cry. I think that kind of fight (with himself and with Xander) is very true to Spike's character and could see him battling with himself while Xander's falling apart, not wanting to give in but unable to help it.
Furthermore, I'm glad Xander broke down. It's pure schadenfreude, but he should be crying, and he should be upset and he should be looking down the long barrel of regret and seeing that he has no one to blame but himself. This is what I was talking missing about in a previous comment, where normally the offender gets off easy? But you didn't let him off easy, just because it works out in the end doesn't diminish the pain of the moment, and it's been more than a moment - he's been dragging around for weeks. His pain and regret is real and it doesn't look like everything is going to work out and that's what I wanted him to feel. So, thank you for this; it's part of what really made the reconciliation believable to me, because now they've both been hurt and are on the same page about where they stand with each other. They can start over.
The thing that really sold me on their reconciliation, however, was the use of the parallel/echoed lines: "What do you want?" [Spike] asks./"What do you want, Spike?" he asks./"Xander, it’s all right. I'm not going anywhere. I'm here, love. I'm staying right here."/"I'm here, love. I'm staying right here." That simple thing did so. much. to sell me on the fact that they really understand each other, and where they're coming from, and what it all means. Especially since Xander is doing the echoing, it shows that he really heard and appreciated what Spike was saying, or not saying, and wanted him to understand that he meant exactly the same thing. By wanting, above all, for Xander to be okay. For Xander to be happy. And suddenly, it's more than just nice, sitting there with Spike, because Xander gets that he is happy -- really and truly happy. That he's happy being with Spike. That he's happy because of Spike. That he can make Spike happy, too. Insert big, happy, relieved sigh from me, as I was pretty concerned that this wasn't going to end happily. As someone above mentioned, you did a good job hedging your bets, and I had attempted to come to terms with the fact that I was gonna walk away sad. Not so! I'm glad I didn't have to, and I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you so. Hopefully the length of this treatise reflects the level of enjoyment I had with your story and was worth all the waiting you had to do to get it.
(PS: I thought the Hugo quote you included at the end was perfect, and I was really glad to see where the title fit in.)
(PPS: I'm pretty embarrassed at how long this got [which I am just now realizing after having to split it twice], sorry if it's overwhelming or unwelcome!)
no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 06:47 pm (UTC)Furthermore, I'm glad Xander broke down. It's pure schadenfreude, but he should be crying, and he should be upset and he should be looking down the long barrel of regret and seeing that he has no one to blame but himself. This is what I was talking missing about in a previous comment, where normally the offender gets off easy? But you didn't let him off easy, just because it works out in the end doesn't diminish the pain of the moment, and it's been more than a moment - he's been dragging around for weeks. His pain and regret is real and it doesn't look like everything is going to work out and that's what I wanted him to feel. So, thank you for this; it's part of what really made the reconciliation believable to me, because now they've both been hurt and are on the same page about where they stand with each other. They can start over.
The thing that really sold me on their reconciliation, however, was the use of the parallel/echoed lines: "What do you want?" [Spike] asks./"What do you want, Spike?" he asks./"Xander, it’s all right. I'm not going anywhere. I'm here, love. I'm staying right here."/"I'm here, love. I'm staying right here." That simple thing did so. much. to sell me on the fact that they really understand each other, and where they're coming from, and what it all means. Especially since Xander is doing the echoing, it shows that he really heard and appreciated what Spike was saying, or not saying, and wanted him to understand that he meant exactly the same thing. By wanting, above all, for Xander to be okay. For Xander to be happy. And suddenly, it's more than just nice, sitting there with Spike, because Xander gets that he is happy -- really and truly happy. That he's happy being with Spike. That he's happy because of Spike. That he can make Spike happy, too. Insert big, happy, relieved sigh from me, as I was pretty concerned that this wasn't going to end happily. As someone above mentioned, you did a good job hedging your bets, and I had attempted to come to terms with the fact that I was gonna walk away sad. Not so! I'm glad I didn't have to, and I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you so. Hopefully the length of this treatise reflects the level of enjoyment I had with your story and was worth all the waiting you had to do to get it.
(PS: I thought the Hugo quote you included at the end was perfect, and I was really glad to see where the title fit in.)
(PPS: I'm pretty embarrassed at how long this got [which I am just now realizing after having to split it twice], sorry if it's overwhelming or unwelcome!)