I'm really, really, really sorry that I didn't get to comment before now on this last part of the story. I feel really awful, truly. I rationalized to myself that my absence would not be missed. Then I volleyed between knowing I was being ridiculous and of course it would be missed, and then feeling like I was being laughably conceited for the thought.
Enough justification! Excuses aren't going to make up lost time so I'll just get to it.
In your other comment you said you suspected that I'd have problems with this final chapter, but actually I liked it. I just wanted to get that out there right away rather than make you read through all the rest (or scroll to the end) before you could see where I stood.
I'll start with Spike, who was excellent: Spike's AWOL for nearly a week, returning tense and tight-lipped, with a vicious slice across his cheek, and a limp./Xander expects rage, or bitterness...but Spike doesn't deliver. Instead, there's a strained solicitousness between them, a kind of after-you-no-after-you exaggerated courtesy./Spike raises his chin, head cocked at a stubborn angle./He seems brittle-boned, skin ashy instead of alabaster, the filigree of blue veins starkly prominent. This is exactly how I imagine Spike to be; we've seen before that when something bad happens to him he tends to take it out on himself in some way: self-neglect, drunkenness, fights, etc. I also think it's very true to form that while in this case Spike may blame or resent Xander for what happened he doesn't take it out on him, that he would see it more as his own failing for getting too attached because he knew what this was about from the start.
I also liked how you dealt with the Anya Situation. She and Xander have been in a death spiral since the beginning of the story, even though Xander rationalized differently to himself (he'd told himself that being with Spike allowed him to be more generous toward Anya...Of course, these were lies. /His father's son, after all…Using them both, and it disgusts him./He's too late, though, by far. Things have worsened while he wasn't looking, and he stares helplessly at the mess he's made. ). While I wouldn't've minded seeing a confrontation between Anya and Xander, I think it's equally true to form that things just ended between them without much fanfare. It may well be that things would have played out the same way even in the event of such a confrontation. Just as it felt like they kind of fell into a relationship (Xander remembers a time, early on, when he'd seen Anya the same way everyone else did. Annoyed and put off by the rude bluntness, the embarrassing faux pas, the giddy greed. The way she stuck to him, with gluey persistence. But as days bled into weeks, and weeks into months, his thoughts adjusted themselves, like gears click-clicking into place; until one day, without his even noticing, those very things became a part of what he loved about her. they eventually just fell out of it the same way.
I felt like the description of their whole relationship was a very true depiction of how real relationships sometimes play out. How sometimes familiarity breeds both liking and contempt in equal measure. How it's easy to take someone for granted and yet resent them in the same breath. You played that so naturally throughout the whole story (I'm thinking specifically about Xander raging about a pottery class in an earlier section) that, now that they're finally split, it's easy to feel Xander's dichotomous regret and relief.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2012-11-08 06:45 pm (UTC)Enough justification! Excuses aren't going to make up lost time so I'll just get to it.
In your other comment you said you suspected that I'd have problems with this final chapter, but actually I liked it. I just wanted to get that out there right away rather than make you read through all the rest (or scroll to the end) before you could see where I stood.
I'll start with Spike, who was excellent: Spike's AWOL for nearly a week, returning tense and tight-lipped, with a vicious slice across his cheek, and a limp./Xander expects rage, or bitterness...but Spike doesn't deliver. Instead, there's a strained solicitousness between them, a kind of after-you-no-after-you exaggerated courtesy./Spike raises his chin, head cocked at a stubborn angle./He seems brittle-boned, skin ashy instead of alabaster, the filigree of blue veins starkly prominent. This is exactly how I imagine Spike to be; we've seen before that when something bad happens to him he tends to take it out on himself in some way: self-neglect, drunkenness, fights, etc. I also think it's very true to form that while in this case Spike may blame or resent Xander for what happened he doesn't take it out on him, that he would see it more as his own failing for getting too attached because he knew what this was about from the start.
I also liked how you dealt with the Anya Situation. She and Xander have been in a death spiral since the beginning of the story, even though Xander rationalized differently to himself (he'd told himself that being with Spike allowed him to be more generous toward Anya...Of course, these were lies. /His father's son, after all…Using them both, and it disgusts him./He's too late, though, by far. Things have worsened while he wasn't looking, and he stares helplessly at the mess he's made. ). While I wouldn't've minded seeing a confrontation between Anya and Xander, I think it's equally true to form that things just ended between them without much fanfare. It may well be that things would have played out the same way even in the event of such a confrontation. Just as it felt like they kind of fell into a relationship (Xander remembers a time, early on, when he'd seen Anya the same way everyone else did. Annoyed and put off by the rude bluntness, the embarrassing faux pas, the giddy greed. The way she stuck to him, with gluey persistence. But as days bled into weeks, and weeks into months, his thoughts adjusted themselves, like gears click-clicking into place; until one day, without his even noticing, those very things became a part of what he loved about her. they eventually just fell out of it the same way.
I felt like the description of their whole relationship was a very true depiction of how real relationships sometimes play out. How sometimes familiarity breeds both liking and contempt in equal measure. How it's easy to take someone for granted and yet resent them in the same breath. You played that so naturally throughout the whole story (I'm thinking specifically about Xander raging about a pottery class in an earlier section) that, now that they're finally split, it's easy to feel Xander's dichotomous regret and relief.
(Continued)