Oh, wow, this was so great! I'll echo the people above who've said you have nothing to worry about when it comes to writing sex. I thought you did a great job, mostly because you didn't make it just about the motions, like eyezrthewindows said, but more because you introduced a level of intimacy between the characters that (IMO) makes a much more rewarding scene.
You said above that you want "To be able to reveal something about the characters through the sex, and have it reveal something to themselves and to each other. I just don't have a sense of how to do this yet." But I think you actually do have a sense of it that you're not totally conscious of. There was a lot revealed to both Xander and Spike in this (Spike's face is distant and dreamy; but suddenly, something like panic jitters across it; and then he looks stunned.../Xander knows he has to return the favor, which isn't really a favor, because he wants to do it. ) and I think it had just the right amount for a story that's just starting out. You have to lay groundwork for revelations like the ones I think you're talking about, and you're doing that right now, just fine.
I also agree that you wrote both Spike and Xander very well. I feel like I read a lot of stories that exist in a universe where Spike hasn't had any feelings/interaction with Buffy, yet he approaches any/all sexual relationships with the same insecurities/hangups that he develops from her. You didn't do that and so Spike's spot on in this: totally ready to have fun, completely confident, very giving. Xander, too, starting off defensive but getting derailed by his partner, so him!
Anyway, I think you're doing an awesome job and I can't wait to read more. I'm really enjoying your style and looking forward to where this is going.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2012-09-14 03:59 pm (UTC)You said above that you want "To be able to reveal something about the characters through the sex, and have it reveal something to themselves and to each other. I just don't have a sense of how to do this yet." But I think you actually do have a sense of it that you're not totally conscious of. There was a lot revealed to both Xander and Spike in this (Spike's face is distant and dreamy; but suddenly, something like panic jitters across it; and then he looks stunned.../Xander knows he has to return the favor, which isn't really a favor, because he wants to do it. ) and I think it had just the right amount for a story that's just starting out. You have to lay groundwork for revelations like the ones I think you're talking about, and you're doing that right now, just fine.
I also agree that you wrote both Spike and Xander very well. I feel like I read a lot of stories that exist in a universe where Spike hasn't had any feelings/interaction with Buffy, yet he approaches any/all sexual relationships with the same insecurities/hangups that he develops from her. You didn't do that and so Spike's spot on in this: totally ready to have fun, completely confident, very giving. Xander, too, starting off defensive but getting derailed by his partner, so him!
Anyway, I think you're doing an awesome job and I can't wait to read more. I'm really enjoying your style and looking forward to where this is going.