Well, I certainly took my sweet time getting back here to actually review this, but I am here now so let's do this.
Your style and turn of phrase are, as always, spot on: "...the truth, unexpected, before him, like a mountain revealed through a lifting fog. Inexorable. Impossible."/"Close enough to touch, and already miles away." I really, really identify with simile/metaphor and yours are so perfect. They capture the moments so well that although the story is new to me I still get the feeling of Yes! That's exactly what it's like. This level of emotional authenticity resonates.
I'm sure I've told you before how I really love how you do so much with so little, (among others: "'Ready,' he lied."); the clean, poetic elements of the prose deepen the story, draw you in, without being heavy. I want to say "subtle" but without implying "sneaky." Subtle like perfume worn well.
Heartbreakers: "This he could turn over in his mind, in his heart, tomorrow, next month, next year."/"He always went too far, always ruined everything. Greedy bastard."
Good Spike characterization: "...Harris said, picking up where he hadn't actually left off."/"Don't do that," Harris said curtly. "Why do you do that?
Good Xander characterization: "...and he worried that Harris would let go of his hand; but Harris held on."/"Feel free to jump in," Harris said, "before this silence officially becomes awkward."
Good both of them simultaneously: "In the land of the not-casual, you, my friend, are king."
And finally: "Wow," he croaked. "That was — that was —“ Yeah, me too, Xander, me too.
So all this is to say: excellent as usual. I reiterate that I've missed your longer pieces, but I do love the short ones too. Good to see you again no matter what.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2013-12-24 02:28 am (UTC)Your style and turn of phrase are, as always, spot on: "...the truth, unexpected, before him, like a mountain revealed through a lifting fog. Inexorable. Impossible."/"Close enough to touch, and already miles away." I really, really identify with simile/metaphor and yours are so perfect. They capture the moments so well that although the story is new to me I still get the feeling of Yes! That's exactly what it's like. This level of emotional authenticity resonates.
I'm sure I've told you before how I really love how you do so much with so little, (among others: "'Ready,' he lied."); the clean, poetic elements of the prose deepen the story, draw you in, without being heavy. I want to say "subtle" but without implying "sneaky." Subtle like perfume worn well.
Heartbreakers: "This he could turn over in his mind, in his heart, tomorrow, next month, next year."/"He always went too far, always ruined everything. Greedy bastard."
Good Spike characterization: "...Harris said, picking up where he hadn't actually left off."/"Don't do that," Harris said curtly. "Why do you do that?
Good Xander characterization: "...and he worried that Harris would let go of his hand; but Harris held on."/"Feel free to jump in," Harris said, "before this silence officially becomes awkward."
Good both of them simultaneously: "In the land of the not-casual, you, my friend, are king."
And finally: "Wow," he croaked. "That was — that was —“ Yeah, me too, Xander, me too.
So all this is to say: excellent as usual. I reiterate that I've missed your longer pieces, but I do love the short ones too. Good to see you again no matter what.